Squirrel
by Silvercreekmama
Summary: This multi chapter fic is what happened when Daryl returned to the prison after Merle's death. Total Caryl, rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first fanfiction so please be gentle. This will be a multi chapter fic that will tell what happened when Daryl returned to the prison after putting Merle down. I promise smut will ensue in later chapters so I am rating it as such! I hope you enjoy, Please review!**

No one had to wonder what had happened to Merle when Daryl made it back to the prison. Rick had seen him from the cat walk through his rifle scope. Daryl stalked out of the woodline, bow on his back. He dispatched walkers between him self and the gate with his buck knife, not really looking up, just driving it in skulls up to the hilt and then kicking the bodies to the side.

Rick sprinted to the gate confident that the man would try to tear down the fence with his bare hands if it wasn't unlocked when he got there. Glenn jogged across the yard, joining them just as Rick slid open the gate just enough so Daryl could pass. They both stayed silent, seeing Daryl's face a mask of pure rage and anguish. His eyes were swollen and red, obviously from weeping even though they both knew he would never admit to that. Finding other places to look, Rick locked the gate back and Glenn ducked his head to stare at the ground.

Daryl raged past without acknowledgment. Every thing in his path became a target as he flipped a picnic table and threw pieces of cinderblock as far as he could while screaming at the top of his lungs. The language was the worst Rick had ever heard, even in his decade plus of being a deputy. Daryl cursed the Governor, detailing what he planned to do to the man, as if he stood before him.

"Rick, he's headed for the west tower. It hasn't been cleared since Maggie shot that sniper. She didn't take him in the head, the walker is still up there."

Rick sighed and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. "He's fine."

Daryl grabbed the edge of the raw sheet metal that had been leaned up against the tower door. Rick winced when he saw the bloody hand print on the door handle after Daryl threw the metal to the side, slammed the door open, and stomped up the steps into the darkness.

"Glenn, run in and get Carol, tell her to bring that medical bag she made up. I'm going back on watch."

"No! You're crazy! NOBODY needs to go near him right now!"

"I said get Carol! He's gonna hurt himself worse if he doesn't calm down at least a little! She's the only one who can get to Daryl when he's like this and she is the only one I know he won't hurt when he isn't thinking!"

TWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWDTWD

Carol was laying Judith down for a nap when Glen ran up the metal steps to the landing that had become their make shift daytime nursery. He whispered to her for just a moment before her eyes widened and she snatched the backpack from under the playpen the baby was sleeping in. Carol took off, nearly tumbling down the steps in her haste.

Herschel looked up to the landing, silent question between him and the boy. Glenn swallowed, "Daryl's back..."

"And Merle?"

Glenn didn't answer, just giving his head a small shake.

"Is Daryl injured badly? Will she need my help?"

"No, it's stuff he's done to himself. He's gone crazy, cut his hand up bad. Rick said Carol was the only one Daryl wouldn't hurt while he is out of his mind right now but I..."

"He's right." the older man interrupted in a weary voice as he turned back to the scriptures he was reading.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for your kind reviews! I am trying my best to keep these two in character so please excuse the Dixon mouth in this chapter. I also apologize for short chapters but I try to place the breaks where they seem natural.**

Carol walked across the courtyard with the pack across her back. She forced herself not to run, knowing she had to stay calm if she was going to avoid making the situation worse. She gave a silent look and nod up to Rick on the cat walk before continuing on to the tower. Daryl was still screaming, some of the phrases not even making sense, just filthy words strung together with threats.

Suddenly, one of the windows in the tower burst outward and the walker Glenn had worried about sailed out. The corpse landed about 10 feet to Carols right as she jumped and pressed herself to the tower door. Grabbing the handle, she looked down at the half dried sticky blood under her hand and sighed "Dammit Daryl..." Glenn had been right about that, Daryl had cut himself badly.

She made her way up the shadowed steps quickly, making as much noise as she could. Surprising him with her presence would be an even worse idea than usual right now. There was a metal folding chair tucked behind the open door to the guard room. She grabbed it as she slipped in, thankful that he had somehow missed it in his blind rage.

Unfolding the chair, she then sat, trying to find as nonthreatening position as possible. She settled on setting the bag in her lap with her elbows propped on it with her chin in her hands. Her heart broke as she watched him.

His back was to her as he assaulted the useless communication console, ripping metal from plastic from wire. The verbal assault on the Governor continued even though it was clear to Carol that he had stripped his voice to the point of hoarseness.

He whirled and started chucking the console pieces out the window he had shattered with the snipers body. As he let the last piece fly, Carol cleared her throat and quietly asked without moving, "You done?"

The look in his eyes as he turned would have had most people running for their lives. But she knew better, this wasn't Daryl. This was a little boy having a tantrum because he didn't know a better way to deal with his heartache. The only way he had ever been taught to deal with intense feelings, whether anger or deep sorrow, was to destroy anything in his path. Blood dripped from his clenched left fist to drop onto the cold concrete floor.

"WHY? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE?"

She stood her ground as he stalked forward. Carol met his eyes with her own, intent on making him realize she wasn't afraid of him, could never be.

"You're hurt, please let me see..." as she reached out toward him, mentally forcing down the tremble that threatened her fingers.

Daryl closed the distance between them in a second, avoiding her outstretched hand. She dropped it back to her side as he brought himself just inches away from her face.

"GO TO HELL! HE'S DEAD! I HAD TO PUT MY KNIFE IN HIS FUCKING SKULL! THAT BASTARD GUT SHOT MY BROTHER AND LEFT HIM TO TURN!"

Carol kept her eyes locked with his, even when he slammed both fists into the cinderblock wall on either side of her head. She was determined she was not going to flinch like she had that night that seemed forever ago, at his camp on the farm. They were both different people now, free to become their true selves. She was not afraid and he would not hurt her. She couldn't, however, keep her stomach from rolling when she heard a bone crunch upon impact in his already damaged left hand.

"I'm not afraid of you. Please let me take care of your hand..."

"FUCK OFF! I DON'T NEED YOU! WHAT ABOUT I THROW YOUR SKINNY ASS OUT THAT WINDOW TOO!"

His voice was not much more than a croak now, his face close enough to hers that the breath of each word and stray droplets of saliva hit her cheeks.

"Like I said, I'm not afraid of you. You can rip apart this whole tower block by block if it makes you feel better. But if you don't let me look at your hand you're not gonna be able to snap a squirrels neck, much less the Governors. Please..."

With her last word she made her Hail Mary move. She placed her hand lightly on the center of his chest, knowing full well that physical contact could set him off again. But she prayed it was what he needed to shock himself back to reality. Her hand only shook once, almost imperceptibly, as she placed it on the grungy leather sleeved button up he wore under his vest.

It was enough. Carol didn't breathe, much less move, as he lowered his fists. The rage in his face broke, replaced by something she didn't immediately recognize because she had never seen it there. Oh, my God, he was crying!

A strangled sob broke out as he crumpled to the floor and Carol went with him. He pitched forward and she placed herself squarely between him and the wall, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. The only other choice would have been to let him take a header into the concrete.

He stayed curled up in a ball, halfway in her lap, sobbing. The strangled cries were were so foreign coming from him that it brought tears to her own eyes. She just held him and let him cry for several long minutes until she could no longer ignore the red spreading on her jeans leg where his left hand rested.

She hastily wiped her own eyes and started rummaging through her bag while keeping her legs and lap still under him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the sweet reviews!**

**Athlete Girl: I totally agree. I was trying to make it sound like she was carefully weighing her words and went a little overboard. I promise, she loosens up shortly! ;-)**

"Daryl, hun, you don't have to get up," she murmured "please don't, but I have to take care of your hand..."

_Hun? HUN?_, Carol mentally chided herself. Where the heck had that come from? _Good move, _she thought, _way to send him running after a breakdown!_

Apparently, he either hadn't heard or didn't care. Daryl's sobs had slowed to erratic wheezes and hiccups as he slowly turned his hand over, laying it gingerly on the leg he was not already occupying without raising his head.

"need...somethin'...mah face"

Carol got the point and reached for what she thought was the corner of a red bandana peeking out of one of his vest pockets. She paused when she realized what she held in her hand was her red scarf, the one she had lost the day T-Dog had sacrificed himself for her. Why had he kept it? She shoved it in his good hand, quickly shaking those questions out of her head. This wasn't the time, with his hand still oozing blood all over her pants.

"uh uh...not gettin'...on this"

"Daryl, it can be washed, a little snot never hurt anything. Now use it so I can tend your hand...kay?"

He hurriedly mopped his face and moved off her legs to set the injured hand where his face had been. He sat shoulder to shoulder with Carol, their backs against the cool cinderblock wall. His chin pointed to the ceiling with his swollen eyes tightly shut. His breathing slowed and he only occasionally snubbed (as Carol remembered her mama calling the hiccuping breaths that often follow bouts of true tears). She took a deep breath, steeling herself for a moment before she looked down at the wound.

It extended from the outside of his palm to the base of his thumb. The edges were jagged, it was more a tear than a cut. She was pretty sure she saw an exposed tendon at one point in the base of the wound, gray-white flashing momentarily through blood. She swallowed hard, steadying her voice before she spoke.

"I...I think it's pretty deep. I'm gonna flush it with sterile water and then stitch it up. I would rather leave it open so bacteria or infection could be washed out later. But with where it is and the conditions we are living in I think that would just be inviting trouble. When I finish we need to check and make sure you can still feel and move your fingers. I don't...there isn't anything to numb it with, I'm sorry..." her voice broke on the last word.

"s'aight, go ahead," he whispered to the ceiling, eyes still closed.

She began flushing the wound, using the cosmetic spray bottle she had sterilized and filled with boiled salt water two days before. His only reaction was a hiss with the first spray. By the time she had emptied the whole bottle into the wound her lap was soaked with bloody saline and she was pretty sure he was grinding his teeth. She didn't dare look at his face, knowing she would lose her nerve if she saw the pain there.

She peeled open one of the precious suture kits they had found in the infirmary but then laid it aside on the relatively clean backpack. She had an idea. Searching one of the side pockets of the bag, she came out with a tiny packet of antibiotic ointment and opened it with her teeth. This went down the base of the wound. She worked carefully, just letting the thin line of goo fall gently, making sure not to touch it with her hands.

"I gotta start sewing now. Please be still as you can. If you need a break during let me know and I'll stop for a minute. But I'm gonna try to get it done and over with as quick as I can

"'kay, jus do it and get it done. I ain't gonna move."

Keeping her eyes trained down, she began her work. As she was tying off the second stitch, he spoke, still hoarse, but better than before.

"sorry"

"About what?" Carol tried to keep her voice light, " You didn't hurt yourself on purpose."

"About what I sa... Uh, your britches, got shit all overum," he stumbled out, ducking his head.

"My pants are fine, just a little blood, definitely not the worst stain they've had on them lately."

She tied off the last stitch, glad their exchange had distracted him as she finished. "And," she continued, turning to look at his face, "it's okay about what you said. I know you didn't mean it, you wouldn't hurt me. Plus, " she allowed herself a giggle as he glanced at her her from under his bangs "if you had tried to chuck me out that window I would hit you in the head with my chair!" They both chuckled, much like the day they had talked in his cell after he came back to the prison.

She checked her work over one last time and then bandaged it. She made sure the last layer of the bandage was flesh colored coban wrap. The last thing Daryl needed was the Governor or one of his soldiers realizing Daryl had a soft spot during a fire fight. Digging in the bottom of her bag she brought out a rather rumpled wrapped granola bar, a small orange packet, and a bottle of water. She ripped open the orange packet the same way she did the antibiotic and tipped it into the water bottle. Instantly, the water swirled neon orange.

"Whassat?" Daryl frowned, "Cain't take nothon that'll make me sleepy. I gotta..."

"No, it's not anything like that. I wish we did have some painkillers so you could rest. It's just some electrolyte packs we found in the infirmary. In case you didn't realize already, Mr. Dixon, we aren't exactly set up for transfusions here so this is the the best we can do until your body replaces what you've lost." She smiled at him, shrugged her shoulders and shook the bottle at him. "Bottoms up!"

Daryl took the bottle, intending to just gulp it down. Instead he made a face and coughed after the first swallow.

"Damn, that's sweet! Been a long time since I drunk anythin' but water. Like drinkin pure sugar!"

"Good, you need the energy! And," she said "you're gonna eat this. I know for a fact that you haven't eaten since last night. Don't need the great and powerful Daryl Dixon falling passed out on his ass now do we?" She wiggled her eyebrows, forcing an eye roll out of him before he snatched the granola bar from her hands.

He grumbled (Carol was pretty sure she made out "Bossy ass") but shoved the bar in his mouth, chasing it with the rest of the drink.

"C'mon," he growled, clumsily getting to his feet with the help of only one hand. "We better get inside before Rick and Glenn come chargin' up here guns drawn. Done think I strangled you or somethin'" He offered her his good hand, pulling her up. Whether he was woozy from blood loss or it was just a clumsy mistake, the result was the same. He pulled too hard and she crashed into his chest, his left arm around her waist to keep her from falling. They both froze, their eyes locked. After what seemed like hours, but couldn't have been more then a second or two, Carol lifted her hand to brush the too long hair out of his eyes.

"I'm really sorry about Merle," she whispered, "I...I was really hoping he could change, become the man he really was, like you have..."

Daryl sighed and Carol knew he was about to let her go, stomp away in a huff like always. Only this time, he didn't.


	4. Chapter 4

**Aha, so here we are! This is going to be awkward, angsty and drawn out just like our dear couple and their relationship. But that's what makes them awesome isn't it? So hold on tight for the next few chapters, we got a lot of stuff, both bad and VERY good to cover. Also, both have some secrets they have been keeping and I don't just mean the scars...**

Daryl gently dropped his forehead to hers and closed his eyes before softly speaking.

"How d'you do that?"

"Do what?" Carol tried to keep her voice calm but this was the closest he had ever intentionally gotten to her, except for on the bike. Even then, he was always facing away, ever watchful and tense. Her heart was trying to pound it's way out from under her ribs.

"How you say shi...mm, stuff that would have me pissed and ready to beat someone's ass, except when it's you it's ok..." he trailed off and she saw his eyes open for a second and peek at her lips.

"Um, I just want to..." It seemed that Carol couldn't form complete sentences anymore even though her mind was racing, thousands of questions in her mind in that moment. _What am I supposed to say? I know how to deal with quiet Daryl, angry Daryl, even crazy Daryl, but gently holding me to his chest Daryl? And why does he smell so good? Not one of us has had a decent bath or shower in months but he smells like man, fresh earth and pine needles. Is he bathing in the the creek when he's out hunting? God, quit imagining what he looks like naked in the creek! THINK!_

Carol came back to her senses when Daryl looked down at her lips again and licked his own. The strong arm behind her back wavered. She knew he was caught between letting go or pulling her in for a kiss. But he couldn't do the latter, too afraid of doing the wrong thing, losing a friend, being rejected. The last 10 months in his presence, on his bike, as his closest friend had let her understand him. Not totally, but more than anyone else in this world. He would be damned before he made a fool of himself and alienated her. She would have to make the first move and quick before he pulled away.

She pushed up on her toes and tilted her head just enough, pressing her lips to his. For the first seconds he didn't move causing Carol a moment of panic that she had misinterpreted him. But then his right hand joined the left arm on her back and pressed her to him. His lips slanted against hers hungrily and the twitch of the hardness growing at her hip assured her she had been right.

She moved her arms around his neck, being careful of the injured hand at her side and entwined her own in his damp hair. He let his mouth fall open slightly and she saw her chance. She ran the tip of her tongue over his lower lip and then the teeth behind, moaning low in her growled and joined in, tentative at first and awkward, but he grew in confidence as Carol admitted him entrance to her own mouth without hesitation.

Finally, breaking free, they both panted for breath, with his head tucked into her shoulder. Daryl had hoped to use this short reprieve from her lips (_so damn soft) _to gather his thoughts and figure out how to handle this but the smell of her neck wasn't helping at all. _Fuck, it's like soap and sunshine. I gotta taste..._

Carol moaned when he ran the very tip of his tongue over her collar bone until he met the strap of her red tank top. She moved her hands to his chest, pushing at his winged vest. He took his arms out from around her to let it fall. His leather armed over shirt went next. When she went for the buttons of the sleeveless shirt, the last layer separating her from his skin, Daryl jerked and looked down at the floor while frowning. Carol was only confused for a second before remembering what she had seen at the farm. _I have to show him that I understand..._

"I have some too..."

She fingered the edge of her top for a moment before lifting it over her head. She was glad she had taken a good pan bath this morning. Shaving her underarms had always been basic hygiene for her so she had made sure she still did, at least every couple of days since they had taken the prison and the heat and hard work had made her partial to tank tops. _But why oh why didn't I think to put a bra on this morning?_

Daryl finally lifted his head when her top hit the floor. Please, she prayed, not disappointment, anything but that...

" You're fuckin perfect..."

The whispered words held such worshipful awe that tears threatened to fill her eyes again. He looked up into them, his own dark with need.

Tentatively, he reached out with his good hand and ran his fingers down the side of her ribs. He was so light and gentle she could hardly feel the calloused tips drag across her skin. Feeling a change in the skin texture he ducked his head to look.

"Bastard!", Daryl spat, nostrils flaring. He knelt, bringing him eye level with what his fingers had found. The scar was white and shiny, obviously years old. The jumble of thin lines seemed random at first. But then Daryl tilted his head and they aligned. His stomach rolled. _That son of a bitch had carved WHORE into Carol, MY CAROL!_

"I was just glad he was so drunk that it was almost unreadable." she whispered, turning one side of her mouth up in a bitter smile when Daryl looked up at her.

Daryl put his forehead against her quivering stomach.

"Wish I could dig'im up. Show him what it feels like to be cut on, then killem again myself..."

Carol placed her hands on top of his shoulders.

"It's over now. The ones who did that and yours are gone. I know it's ugly..."

"You're the prettiest damned thing I ever seen! Have been ever since I watched you put that pickaxe in his head at the quarry." he interrupted, unable to hear her self doubt anymore. He pressed his lips to the profane lie Ed had carved into her and stood.

Giving a small single nod, he then looked down at the front of his shirt and back up to her. He felt her sweet tiny hands whisper over his skin as she undid the fraying buttons from bottom to top. He turned his head up to the ceiling and let the shirt slip to the floor. His breath hitched when her lips traced tender kisses over all the marks on his upper chest as her hands smoothed over the ones on his stomach.

Carol took a step back. My God, Did he have any idea how good he looked? His chest was firm and toned, his stomach flat but not overly muscled, just what she liked. Hair dusted his chest with thicker patches between his pecs and trailing from his navel to dive under the waist band of his baggy cargos. Carol felt a pull in her own pelvis at the sight of that.

But the best were his arms and shoulders. Of course she had seen those before with his love of sleeveless shirts. But now, all put together with everything else, dear God she was gonna go nuts before this was over!

She closed back the momentary distance between them, running her hands over those shoulders and arms as she leaned up.

This time the kiss wasn't tentative. It was pure need on both their parts. Teeth and tongues invaded, each claiming the others mouth. Forgetting the injury, Daryl snaked both hands down to her bottom and squeezed hard.

"SHIT!" he exploded, letting go and shaking the now throbbing limb. "Cain't even grab your ass right!"

"Hush," Carol soothed as she pulled him back to her " just try to remember not to use it. You don't need two hands for what we're doin' anyway."

His mind jumped at her words.

_For what we're doin..._

He quirked an eyebrow at her and smirked, suddenly with a wicked idea.


	5. Chapter 5

**Last chapter of the day folks! DH and I have class tonight, we are a few weeks away from getting our foster parent license. Enjoy! Reviews are welcome!**

Daryl gingerly moved his left hand to the side of her ribcage, only wincing slightly as he made contact and then dragging his fingertips up to her breast. Carol made a low keening noise when they brushed over her nipple making it even more hard and erect than it already was. Her hips jerked against the front of his jeans, sending an involuntary lightening bolt through his own body. _Damn, she does that again and I'm gonna come in my pants like a twelve year old._

Easily ignoring the pain in his palm now, he rolled the bud between his thumb and fingertip, marveling at her arching back and how her mouth formed a soundless "oh" while her eyes fluttered shut. Her knees shook and he ran his strong right arm around her waist, using it to adjust her position so he could bring his mouth to the peak of the other breast. His mouth and tongue matched the rhythm of his fingers on the other. The inexperience that was evident on his part made it even sweeter for Carol. Just when she was sure her head was going to explode he drew back, grinning.

"What exactly is so funny, Mr. Dixon?" Carol purred, still trembling.

"Woman, you're the one who said that I had to test and see if my hand still worked after you sewed it up. That way seemed just as good as any." He shrugged and gave her a very fake look of innocence.

She laughed and playfully slapped his chest. She let her hands linger, chasing his own dusky circles, and then teasing them. His face serious again, he growled "Ain't fair, your hands ain't banged up..." Carol snorted and dipped her head, circling one with her tongue and then sucking. Daryl's good hand suddenly hauled her up, a death grip on her upper arm. His mouth crushed hers, then broke free to linger near her ear,

"Keep that up and this'll be over before it even gets started good."

Carol's heart soared knowing what an effect she had on him.

Daryl sighed, putting his chin on top of her head and drawing her close with his arms at their favorite spots across her waist.

"You deserve better."

"Daryl..."

"Ain't even got a mattress, a blanket to lay on the dirty floor up here."

"I don't care."

"I do!"

Carol turned in his arms, pressing her back into his chest as she surveyed the guard room. After a minute her eyes fell on the metal folding chair. She took his hand and led him to sit on it. She nudged his knees apart with her own and then stood between them.

"This better?"

Daryl swallowed and nodded. "C'mere" he whispered, motioning her toward him like that night on the bus. She stepped deeper into the V of his legs and his hands went to the button on her jeans. The fact that both his hands were shaking as he fumbled it open was not lost on her. He slid the zipper down and hooked the fingers of his good hand in the waistband. Stopping, he cleared his throat and looked up.

"This a'aight?" _Please be alright cause if it ain't I'm gonna die right here._

Carol smiled and plaher own hands over his and pushed the jeans down, shimmying out of them as she kicked off her sneakers. Daryl's mouth went dry at the sight of the curls where her thighs met.

"Y'aint wearing no drawers?" _Real smooth dumbass,_he mentally kicked himself. He also had the sudden terrifying realization that he had no idea what he was doing.

"Thanks for the info, Captain Obvious!" Carol joked running her hands through his hair. "Judith had a rough morning and I'm behind on the wash."

Daryl's mind raced, trying to decide what to do next. Carol noted the pained look on his face and forced his eyes to meet hers with a hand under his chin.

"Daryl, it's just me, just Carol. Don't worry about doing this right or wrong. It's still me."

My God, this woman is gonna break me, kill me even and I don't even give a damn. I'm looking forward to it, jonesin for 'er like a damn drug. He pressed his face against her stomach, tracing her navel with kisses.

Quickly, not giving himself time to think, Daryl stood and used his hands on her waist to spin and plant her in the chair still warm from where he had been sitting. A warm hand between her breasts pushed her back smoothly and then scooted her hips to the edge of the chair. Kneeling between her knees, he nudged them apart like she had done minutes before. Carol had never been so completely exposed before. Her brow furrowed and she bit her lip.

"Daryl you don't have to..."

"I'll die if I don't." he replied, his voice husky with want. "I gotta know... what you feel like, what you fuckin' taste like..." he hesitated, " but I ain't never..."

"Then that makes two of us."


	6. Chapter 6

**Yes, yes, I know, I know! I am a horrible woman who leaves people hanging off of cliffs panting for more! But I have to stop where it makes sense and gives anticipation! I LOVE you guys, your reviews totally stoke my writing furnaces. Sooooo, where did we leave off with our dear hunter and widow...**

Daryls head snapped up and he eyed her incredously.

"You're lyin'..." the words weren't angry or accusatory, just an honest statement of surprise and disbelief.

"Daryl, I can honestly say you are the only man who has EVER cared anything about my pleasure."

The thought that he would be the first _(the only, SHE'S MINE)_ to do this for her bolstered his confidence. He leaned back on his heels, wanting to take all of her in before starting. She was quivering, lips red and bruised. Her nipples were still peaked and damp from his earlier ministrastions.

Carol instinctively tried to close her knees when his eyes wondered lower. Daryl frowned and pushed them even farther apart.

"No... Don't hide from me...woman, don't ever hide from me..." In another setting the words could have been misconstrued as menacing but he said them so tenderly, almost begging.

Carol forced herself to relax, arms and hands loosed on her thighs. He was looking at her_ down there_ and she had never felt this exposed and needy before. The look on his face made wetness surge in her core and she wondered if he could tell. He was rubbing curlycue patterns on the inside of her thighs with his thumbs, making her shake even more.

Sliding one finger down the center, slow and light, he wondered, "So fuckin' wet already..." Exploring, Daryl be to note what brought moans and loud sighs. Circling her clit with his thumb and then diving into her tight entrance brought her hips up off the chair, her body tense and his name on her lips.

"Sure wish I could use both hands," he smirked.

"Mmmmmm...don't think I...could handle it," Carol gasped, eyes wide.

"Don't need two hands for what we doin' anyway." His head dropped as he threw her own words back at her. He dipped his tongue into her, _Good Lord, she's like honey..._Daryl moaned, his cock twitching and pants painfully tight. Carol writhed under him and moaned as he trained his tongue on the bead he had mapped earlier. He tried to concentrate, circling her clit until she was jerking beneath him so hard he had to steady her hips with his hand. Breaking his rhythm he traced down and entered her with his tongue, causing Carol to lace her fingers into his hair and pressing him to her.

"Daryl...I'm gonna...sooooooo close"

Daryl came up for air, enjoying the look on her face and half closed eyes. Lust drunk was the only way he could define it.

"Good, g'head." Daryl picked up her legs behind her knees and slid them onto his broad shoulders as brought his head down again.

Carol had never felt anything so decadent, so luscious in her life. She dared to look down, her thighs on his shoulders and his head between them as he did amazing things with his mouth, dipping, flicking and diving into her. He was snarling, saying things, wonderful dirty sex things that made her ears burn.

"God, woman..."

"Mine..."

"So fuckin' wet, so good..."

That is what sent her over the edge, knowing that he was enjoying this act nearly as much as she. The low burn in her pelvis spread until her whole body was spasming, her hands digging into his scalp, and screaming his name.

She finally came down after what seemed like hours, legs still weakly jerking over his shoulders. Daryl grinned up, the edges of his mustache damp with her.

"That..."

"God, Daryl, that was more than alright and you know it!" she groaned, answering his question before he could ask.

She jerked forward and pulled him forward by his waistband as she slid her legs down his arms. She started fumbling with his belt, demanding

"Pants off, now!"

Daryl's eyes widened and he added his hands at his waist. Between the the two of them they got the job done, shoving the raggedy pants down to his knees, neither thinking for him to stand to fully rid himself of them and his boots. Carol wasn't surprised a bit that be was commando too. Knowing that he had looked at her so openly gave her the nerve to peek down.

_My...God...I didn't know they got that big...I don't know if I can...oooooh, but I'm gonna try..._

_C_arol smoothed her hand down its length, causing Daryl to buck and a ragged cry to escape his throat.

"Woman..."

"Yeeeeeees?" she brazenly answered, intent on what lay in her hand, hot and heavy.

"Ya better stop, I'm fit to blow already."

Carol fought the urge the finish him then and there, maybe make him switch places and returning the favor he had done for her minutes before. She knew that wasn't how he wanted this to end.

"Dammit!" Daryl roared.

Carol jumped at the sudden noise when they had been murmuring only seconds before. Daryl jerked away, eyes shut as he scrubbed his hands over his face angrily.

"DAMMIT TO HELL! I'M SUCH A FUCKIN' IDIOT!"

**Yeah, I know, another cliffhanger, TWD has taught me well. I think I'm going to go take a cold shower and smoke a cig while you guys wonder what's got Daryl so upset. It's also past time for Carol to reveal what she's been keeping from him, whether it's for the better or worse. Reviews keep me stoked! Update soon!**


	7. Chapter 7

**See, I didn't keep you waiting tooooooo long! OmG, you guys comments have me in stitches. I love it, I started this just to get this story out of my head and now I'm just as excited to see where this is gonna go as you guys are!**

"What, Daryl!? What is it!? What did I do?"

Carol reached out, grabbing Darl's shoulders and stopping him from standing and hitching his pants up as he had started to do. He sat on his feet between her knees, looking very much like an ashamed and sulking little boy. When he spoke, she had to lean forward to make his mumbles clear.

"Ain't you, i's me. I ain't got any, Asshole Glenn has'em."

_Dear God, why didn't I think to tell him before now? Before we got this far? I was so afraid of him looking at me like I was broken, something to be pitied. Now we've gone this far...it's my fault. I can't let him believe this has to stop because he was too busy fighting to protect our lives to think about picking up some stupid condoms. If this stops it's going to be because he doesn't want damaged goods_

Carols voice wavered as she spoke. "Daryl, I can't."

"Don't you think I know we cain't without a rubber?"Daryl bristled, jerking his shoulders out from under her hands and blue eyes sparking and narrowed. "I'll be DAMNED if I let happen to you what Rick Shane or whoever the hell else she was rollin around with that knocked her up let happen to Lori!"

Carol pursed her lips, finding a hint of amusement in the serious situation. Lori never had been his favorite, especially once Judith's ambiguous conception had become group knowledge.

Carol put her hands around his face and forced him to look at her.

"Daryl, you're not listening. **I** can't." she mentally cursed the fact that her voice was already wavering, there was no way she was going to get through this with him with crying again. And she knew how much he hated for her to cry. "I can't ...have anymore children. I'm so sorry, I should have told you before this happened. I should have told you before we got this far so it wouldn't be such a hard decision"

His hands had settled on her knees. "Decision? The hell kinda decision is there?"

"If you want me, want us. Daryl I can NEVER give you children. That's a lot for a man to shoulder, even for you. I'll understand..." _Dammit, stop crying for once, I don't want his pity, I can't bear it._

Daryl rose up fully on his knees and leaned over her, his face dark and unreadable. He placed his hands on the wall behind the chair on either side of her head and brought his face so close to hers their noses were only inches apart. When he spoke his voice was the most grave and measured she had ever heard it.

"Woman, you better listen and listen good because I ain't sayin this but once. You know I ain't good at this shit, probably gonna fuck it up anyway. THERE. IS. NO. DECIDING. TO. BE. DONE. Ain't been since the farm! Hell, I'm glad! That's one less way I got to worry about losin you. You have any idea how many times I've had to run inta the woods an jerk off leaning against some tree because I couldn't take the risk. I don't give a flying fuck if you ever carry my kid. Maybe if the world was like it was with doctors and hospitals 'n shit but it ain't. You're the closest thing to a mama Asskicker has anyway. And if you get ta where you want one of our own, " he rolled his eyes "God only knows why'd ya'd wanna raise a kids with a screw up like me, but with this world the way it is now there's gonna be kids who need a mama an daddy. I don't want to hear another word about any of this decidin' shit..."

Carol had no clue what to say. Daryl had just told her he loved her in his own profanity laced and self deprecating way. That he had for months, even before they fled the farm. She had heard more words from him in the past five minutes than she usually did in a week.

Daryl moved his hands to cup her jaw and she covered them with her own. He asked one more time to be positive.

"Are you SURE there is no way you can catch pregnant?"

Carol nodded, "I promise. I was so small down there, too small. Sophia had weighed almost ten pounds. We were supposed to wait twelve weeks but Ed started getting mad at three. He...he...we can go over the specifics later ok?" She was so afraid that the mood had already been ruined, especially when hardness flashed in Daryl's eyes when she alluded to what Ed had done. " Let's just say I ended up having surgery. I only have one ovary and the doctor said that the tube to it was so scarred I'd have a better chance of being struck by lightening on a sunny day than having a baby. Much less chance than using condoms too." she added.

"And there ain't no way I can hurt ya?"

"Not as long as you take your time and," she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively on the last part "make sure I'm good and ready like you were before we got started on this subject."

Daryl had relaxed down onto her, elbows on the chair behind her bottom, hands drawing lazy circles on her back. He rubbed his face against her breast, nuzzling the nipple before looking up at her with what he himself would have deemed a 'shit eating' grin.

"And I kin have ya anytime, anywhere, I want and not worry about a damn rubber. Glenn can kiss my ass!" His smile fell, "um, I mean, ya know, if you want to"

Carol laughed at his fumbling, "Oh, I want Mr. Dixon, I definately want!" she reached between the, the member that had ebbed a bit surging back under her hands. Daryl kissed her hard, his hands busy at her nipples. In only a few seconds he had her begging.

"Daryl, pleeeeeease..."

"Ya sure?"

"Mmmmmhmmmmm, been too long already..."

"Damn straight! How you wann do this?"

"Don't care, just need you"

"like 'is so I kin see you"

Daryl's hand dropped between them. Carol noted it's tremor and the sudden fear in his eyes, his own secret now evident. He read her knowledge even as she tried to hide it. She placed her hand over his own, guiding him to her.

_Dammit, she knows! A fuckin forty year old virgin like in that damn movie. And she's still here, lookin at me with them lovin soft eyes and smilin like its the best day of her life._

"Damn, woman, I love you," Daryl managed before he slid into her heaven and his voice left him.


	8. Chapter 8

**You guys made it ! :) I was really hung up on this, and finally decided to let the characters do most of the talking thereselves, both in their heads and out loud. Let's see heaven through their eyes...**

_Shit! Shit! SHIT! Don't move, don't move, Lord, don't let her move yet or I'm done for. _Daryl had his face crammed into Carol's shoulder, his eyes screwed shut, his teeth grinding so hard he knew she could hear it. _God, when she said she was small, I_ had_ no idea...Think about somethin else, dumbass! Baseball, ain't that what they say to think about to stop it? What the fuck do I know about baseball? Huntin, then. Yeah, huntin, that'll work! Sommin small, hard to follow. Squirrel, yeah, thassit! I'm in the woods, gotta squirrel to find. It's jus rained and it's summer, so it's all hot and wet. Hot. Wet. God, she's so... Dammit man, get yur mind back on the trail!_

Carol was having her own internal struggle. _Breathe, in, out , in, out. Just breathe, no noise or he'll think he needs to pull out. Relax, relax, so full, so full, never like this before, God, he's so heavy in me, he's fighting, trying not to move, can hear his teeth grinding. What did he just say? Squirrel? I must have heard wrong. Relax, thank God he helped me come before , breathe, in, out..._

Neither could tell you how long they went on like this, afraid to move, to hardly breath. Daryl finally raised his head, laying his sweat slick forehead against hers.

"Y'okay?" he whispered, not quite sure he was okay yet.

"Yeah..." Carol had acclimated to his thickness and length, the pinpricks and intense pressure inside her becoming a pleasant heaviness that promised much more.

"Ok if I...?"

"If you are..."

Daryl straightened his back and loosened the vise grip he had around her. This put him back to kneeling between her legs without breaking their connection.

Carol remembered that he had been on the concrete for quite awhile.

"You're knees okay?"

Daryl laughed deep in his throat, eyes still closed.

"Hell, darlin', knees ain't even on the radar right now."

_Darlin'. The way he says it, drawling it out in a half growl, sounds like something from a dirty movie. Yeah, because you have soo much experience with those, you idiot. Don't care, I wanna hear it_ again.

_"_Say that again."

"What?"

"What you called me, please..."

"Darlin'?"

"Mmmmmmmmm"

Their eyes were open now, each trained on the others bodies. Her hands were on his shoulders, finger nails scraping lightly on the back of his neck. His slid his up under her thighs to guide her legs around his waist before he gave a slow experimental half thrust.

"Mmmmmm, Daryl..."

"You like'at?"

"More!"

"Yes ma'am"

_Slow n' easy, slow n'easy, gotta hold back, can't speed up yet, don't trust m'self to hold on, fuck, she's like silk, there's gotta be virgin's that ain't this tight._

_God, he feels so good, mmmm, his eyes, so dark, looking at me, wanting me, all the way in, all the way out, he's fighting not to speed up, grinding his teeth again, love him so much_

_Think I can speed up a little now, maybe a little harder, yeah, like'at, damn, I had no idea, those little sounds she's makin, because of me and what I'm doin_

_"_That's good..."

"Yep"

_God, she's beautiful, all sweaty and moving with me, matchin every move, wanna do more for her, want her to go again before I do, she likes it when touch her nipples, yeah, darlin, let me make ya feel good_

_Mmmm, touching me again, rolling them between his fingers, huh, I'm pretty sure that left hands ok_

"oooooooh..."

_Damn, she keeps moaning like that and I'm gonna have to go huntin again, wanna put one of her legs on my shoulder like before but afraid to, hell with it, she loved it then_

_Wow, wasn't expecting that, changed the angle, his beard on the inside of my knee, I love that, starting to get close, maybe if I ..._

_Fuck! That's hot, watchin' her do that, wonder if she's had to do that before wishin it was me, my job now, left hands doin fine up there I can move the right down there_

_"_outta the way, darlin', my job now"

"Daryl! Fuck!"

"Hah! Already am!"

"*snort* Harder then"

"ya sure? I dunno..."

"I'm almost there. Want you to go with me *gasp* please"

"kay"

_she better hurry, can already feel my balls tightenin up_

_"_Daryl! - love you"

"Say it again!"

"I love you!"

"Woman..."

"oh god, Oh God, OH GOOOOOOOOD!"

"FUCK! CAROL!"

*breathing*

"That a'aight?"

*smack!* "shut up!"

*snort*

**Sooooo, what do you guys think? Did I do them justice? How do you guys feel about a short post-coital chapter and another short one that explains how they never got interrupted, from the view of those not in the tower?**


	9. Chapter 9

**This isn't going to be a very fluffy post-coital chapter, I'm sorry. Their lovemaking didn't make Merle any less dead or the Governor any less dangerous. I had a problem with the playfulness of the end of the previous chapter at first. Then I saw it for what it was. Daryl is always been a fighter. Carol is his safe place to fall and lose his inhibitions and fears. He was able to escape what happened for long enough to come back to her, back to sanity. It also gave him one more reason to fight.**

**Reviews are very welcome as always.**

****Daryl quickly went somber after the playfulness that had immediately followed their lovemaking. He now sat in the chair missing only his shirts, Carol curled up in his lap with her head on his chest. She was fully dressed except for her shoes, bare feet hanging over his left leg. Her fingers were lightly tracing the name tattooed on his chest.

"Who was he?"

"My granddaddy, cancer took him when I was fourteen..." Daryl didn't look down at her as he spoke, just continued staring at the same spot. She had no doubt that he was back at the silos with Merle.

"Was he like you?"

"Whole lot better than I'll ever be."

"Daryl..."

" We gotta go, got shit to do."

Daryl gently turned her in his lap to face forward and slip on her shoes. As soon as they were on she stood and walked to the broken window with crossed arms. She spoke softly as she heard him finish dressing behind her.

"Rick called a meeting while you were...gone. We voted whether to stay and fight or run." She felt more than heard Daryl slip up beside her. He placed a tentative arm around her lower back, hand on her hip as she finished. "We all want to fight. He wouldn't make the final decision until you..."

"We're staying." he interrupted, his voice cold and flat. The hand at her hip tightened into a fist.

"I'll be damned if that son of a bitch takes anything else from me."

**I know, not what you were looking for. Me either, but I had to go where the plot bunny trail leads. I personally don't like fics where lovemaking solves all the problems. Caryl's love has been declared and consummated. This gets us from Merle**'s **death up to the beginning of the finale. This is the last chapter of this fic. I'm developing a new one that is a continuation of 'Squirrel' beginning at the end of the finale. Daryl is still going to have problems with Merle's death and Woodbury's integration despite his relationship with Carol. To not would be unrealistic. Would y'all be interested in reading something like that? The working title is Revelation and it will move at a more normal pace than this one (which took nine chapters to cover an hour of interaction).**


End file.
